Justin H.

The queen of hearts and king of diamonds
have always been best friends.
The more he gives for her to keep,
the more she spends and spends.
But it's certainly quite different,
for Joe and Suzie Peg,
for the more she makes at her job,
the more he begs and begs.

Honey, I seem to be running low
on my pocket spending cash.
But every time she gives him some,
it's left him in a flash.
"I used the money that you gave me
on a fancy limousine,
and if you give me two grand more,
I'll buy a plasma screen."

Finally one day,
she was tired of the man.
And then she thought inside her mind,
"I've got a secret plan!"
One dark night by candlelight,
she snuck beside his bed,
and when he woke, he found a note,
and the piece of paper said:

"My love so sweet, I'm in the rear seat,
of the ones who kidnapped me.
They told me to say, I'm far, far away,
and they want ransom money.
But I've hit a snag when it comes to dough,
and I hate to say it's true;
that I've spent my cash, as quick as a flash,
on fancy new presents for you.
But do not fret my love, my pet
for if you really love me that much,
you will get some work, as maybe a clerk,
and pay for my ransom and such.
If you love me so true, and I know that you do,
you will free me from their clutch.
I'll say again, they're dangerous men,
but I love you so very much."

To say the least, this man was sad,
of what this note clearly said.
But it seemed to be, something different you see
that made him mad instead.
On the note below, she said there was no dough,
and that made him upset you see.
For the only reason he loved her so,
was because of her money.

Then he thought in his mind,
this love is not mine,
he said, "I never loved her to begin."
And just as he spoke those words aloud,
Suzie Peg came strolling in.

He was quite a sight, he was ghost pale white,
for he knew that he was tricked.
And as she spoke, the dead awoke,
and he was feeling mighty sick.

"You lazy bum of worthless scum,
you're a useless human being.
You waste your time, you whine and whine,
and make an awful scene."
He looked at her like a milking cow
looks at an oncoming train.
But he saw her smile, and she paused,
and she quietly explained.
"My dear sweet Joe, you must now go,
and leave behind any doubt,
that if you decide to return,
I'll knock your bright lights out."