Smeared Reflection
Stacy N.

Denial is two parts self, one part everyone else. Convincing others that you are fine may be the easiest step, but it is convincing yourself that is the hardest. For those around you are all too ready to believe you are fine, they are all too ready for pleasing lies. But you, no matter how hard you try, will always know that you are the complete opposite of fine. You are in fact a wreck, and find that concentrating is now no longer an option; your head now a complete mess. But yet you play the “I’m fine,” card. Fine. What exactly is fine? Is it that you are still breathing, sleeping and eating? Would that not still be a lie? For your sleep pattern has changed, and the pit in your stomach has suddenly replaced your need for food. And even your breathing skips and flutters as you gasp for breath between your streaming tears. Yes, denial is a game, a carefully set game of lies. And when the denial breaks, and the comfort lies dissolve you will be left empty, finally dealing with that which you buried.