SOA Chocolate Conspiracy
Nate M.

Good tidings to you the reader of this important document that I entrust to you with the highest status of secrecy. Included in this mail sent to you Via e-mail, or cybernetic transportation of literary material through cyber space, is a recent and secret study of the many qualities, uses, forms, and other such things as ones mind can imagine, of Schoolous ofthus Articus Chocolatious, or Soa Chocolate. A recent connection by the name of The Deceptively Naturally Amicable person To Everyone has recently put his life and schooling at risk, infiltrating this high security research lab, which goes by the name of School of the Arts. After gaining the trust of the staff of the lab over the course of an arduous school year, he has advanced in to the second level of the students being learned in the sacred art of writing, in which they will eventually be used to bring and promote reading of all age groups to people like you and me! They will use their arts to make Infomercials, and commercials that bore us to death as we watch TV, and interrupt our Program! There is even a program in this lab for theater which trains these young students in the art of acting to go along with the writing to cause doom to all television and maybe, THE WORLD WIDE ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK! But enough said about that, we recently got a call today our faithful connection on an event he has researched over the last two years. It is called Chocolate Day. The clever staff has utilized the powerful effects of the substance chocolate, which comes from the chocolate mines in coral reefs of the coast of Choc-lo-Rica. The luscious qualities of this milky substance in many various forms like cookies, brownies, cakes, small individual bricks of pure, unaltered chocolate disguised in the form of candy wrapped in gaily colored foil wrapping. With a high natural sugar count in this fluke of nature, naturally occurring chocolate, the Staff can feed it to the students educing a hyper active reaction that can cause devastating effects, such as loud rambunctious behavior, high pitched squealing in girls. Crummy jokes from guys, and an all around higher state of activeness that far out reaches the awakeness of students in the morning. Promoting an awake student ready to learn. With this morning boost of chocolate, the Teachers can take advantage of the state of awareness and teach the students in their arts of evil and doom that will bring the down fall of something right now that I can’t think of but it still sounds really cool anyway. As a rare after effect of exposing these brain washed students, there is a high rate of dental decay that could lead to an early use of fake teeth, and also making dentist in the area rich with the income of filling these cavities caused by the destructive nature of the sugars in the chocolate which brake down the strong outer enamel of the tooth. We have evidence to believe that SOA is involved with the Evil Dentist Association of America for Forcing Kids To go to the Dentist (E.D.A.O.A.F.F.K.T.G.T.T.D). With this alliance, the evil doctors of the E.D.A.O.A.F.F.K.T.G.T.T.D. and the Genius Scientists of Soa, headed by their illustrious Chief code named “Drama Queen”, since her name is knot know buy our associate, will be able to keep their young apprentices from Chocloteeth-i-o-itus (Chocolate tooth decay) This way they will be able to teach their students at a higher plane of education, and not have the disastrous after effects of Chocolate. TO boast the morale of the all ready hyper active students, Their secret art instructors, have mad plans to make crafts to make the kids even more happy and bring out the creative qualities in the kids minds hoping to nurture this into a fine bladed weapon. For everyone knows that the most dangerous weapon in the world is the Mind accompanied by a fine sharp edged tongue that can cut poison into the most bold hearted people who think they can perform public speaking, but relay cant speak for hoo-hah. Now as I am nearing the end of the report, there is a bit of information the in the upper classes of the fine warriors of pen and paper are being educated in the knowledge of fine music. Which everyone knows is how adults talk through a mentally choreographed collection of fine tunes and melodies. But by me why listen to a music that is Bbrroke. If it is, then fix it. But with this knowledge that can be learned through the early ages on consuming chocolate, students will be prepared for collage and then the world in which they can go out and achieve the goals of their former teachers. Well now that I have informed you of this, maybe you will not let you children eat chocolate. For it is the one tool that teachers can use to wake their students up and teach them to their fullest extent. If we can stop this, then banished will be the idea and the students can live in stubbornness, they way they had been taught since the beginning of time. But everyone knows that teachers are really mad scientist in disguise. Thank you reader for your time.